


Find Me On My Better Days, to Lose It Once Again

by SegaBarrett



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Anal Fingering, M/M, past trauma, references to non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:00:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26251564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SegaBarrett/pseuds/SegaBarrett
Summary: Tyler finds help in an unlikely place.
Relationships: Tyler Down/Bryce Walker
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Find Me On My Better Days, to Lose It Once Again

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own 13 Reasons Why and I make no money from this.
> 
> A/N: Title is from "Tonight the World Dies" by Avenged Sevenfold. Also, please assume for the purposes of this story that Tyler and Bryce are both 18.

Tyler Down was seeing red when he knocked on the door of Bryce Walker’s motel room. Bryce hadn’t seemed to have even tried at all; it had been so obvious this was where he was hiding out. 

Tyler wondered if he was in there alone, then told himself that he had to be – no one bothered themselves with Bryce or any of his nonsense anymore. 

Unless they did.

He knocked on the door, fury building in his soul, demanding for Bryce to open the door with more confidence than he had ever felt. Except for Spring Fling.

Had he been confident then, or desperate?

He had been desperate, and maybe he was desperate now.

Bryce had told him the truth when he’d pointed the gun at him, and Bryce hadn’t seemed afraid in the least.

Maybe he was resigned, somehow. The same way that Tyler had been.

***

He hadn’t expected Bryce to come see him in the yearbook room, hadn’t expected Bryce to ask what had happened.

And when he showed him the video from the flash drive, he hadn’t expected Bryce to look at him with genuine shock, worry, and concern. 

Maybe he had expected him to laugh, to slap him on the shoulder and tell him it was no big deal.

He didn’t.

***

_Meet me at the motel. Same place._

Tyler hadn’t expected to receive a text from Bryce the day after he told him the truth, the day after he promised to deal with Monty in some way he hadn’t disclosed.

He didn’t know what brought him to the motel. He knocked on the door and when it cracked open, Bryce was standing there, looking at him awkwardly.

Tyler stepped inside.

He had to wonder, sometimes, which Bryce he could expect to meet. From what he had heard – because he had craned his head at the name now, sometimes, trying to catch bits and pieces, Bryce was either the same old jock who used and hurt people again and again, or he’d turned over a new leaf and become some sort of a saint.

_Or somewhere in between. Most people are somewhere in between._

“I’ve been thinking. And reading,” Bryce told him, “About… what you went through. And I wanted to see if… maybe you wanted to try something.” 

“…Uh… what kind of something?” Tyler asked. He moved his hands to his chest, clasped over his heart protectively. 

“Tyler…” Bryce cleared his throat. “I’m just gonna go ahead and say it… have you ever… uh, had sex before?”

Tyler looked down and then slowly shook his head. 

“Bryce, I don’t think I could… I don’t think I can… I don’t…”

“Hey, listen, buddy… It’s okay. You don’t have to do anything until you find the right person and you want to. But… there’s something I’d like to show you… if you’d like to see?”

Tyler raised his gaze and fixed it on Bryce, reluctantly.

“You’re sure you won’t make me do anything if I’m not… if I don’t want?”

“New leaf, buddy. Trust me on this. Now, lay down on the couch on your stomach.”

Tyler met Bryce’s gaze and then followed the instruction, keeping his eyes up and focused on Bryce.

“A little more up in the air with your butt, okay?”

“What… are we going to do?”

“You’re going to learn about feeling good, and I’m going to help you.”

Tyler shuddered, but he lifted his butt a little higher up in the air. 

“Like this?”

“Try kind of like a… downward facing dog kind of deal. All right, I’m going to be right here, I’m touching your clothes but I’m not going to hurt you, okay? Just getting them out of the way…”

“Uh, out of the way of what?” Tyler asked, moving his legs a little bit and ducking his head to try to peek beneath him to see what, exactly, Bryce was planning to do with his clothes.

Apparently, what he was doing was pulling Tyler’s pants down, ever so slowly, and letting his underwear follow.

“Bryce? What are you going to do to me?”

Tyler wondered if he should get off the bed and run far, far away, but the position wasn’t lending itself to the possibility. 

“I won’t hurt you. Just breathe, Tyler.”

“It’s getting a little hard to stay like this, Bryce,” Tyler protested, and Bryce put a hand on Tyler’s thigh.

“Okay, lower your legs a little. Put your knees on the bed. Plank pose. Or table-top. One of those.”

“When did you start doing yoga?” Tyler asked. The thought was so bizarre that it almost chased away the nerves he was feeling.

“My mom has a studio now… Anyway, knees down. Keep breathing.” 

Tyler followed his instructions, then felt Bryce’s finger, now slicked with… something? … trailing down his cheeks and over to Tyler’s hole. 

“Are you okay?”

He hadn’t expected Bryce’s voice to be so gentle, but somehow it always seemed to be, even when he had been doing horrible things. That didn’t mean it was necessarily a good sign.

“So far… Are you going to…”

“If it’s okay with you.”

Tyler felt weak. He took a breath and then nodded, ever so slowly, wondering what it was about the situation that was making him decide to agree – it was all terrifying, and sex had been scary for him even before what had happened in the bathroom. 

Maybe it was the way that Bryce didn’t treat him like everybody else did, the way he didn’t talk to him like he was afraid Tyler was planning to shoot him, which was ironic since Tyler had tried to.

“Deep breath, and then tell me if it’s okay.”

Tyler breathed. 

“I’m okay,” Tyler said, “You can touch me…”

Then he heard Bryce hesitate.

“I can’t see your face like this. Roll over and just kind of…” He helped Tyler shift, put a pillow under him to prop him up. “I think this is a little better.” 

And then he spread his fingers, rubbed them together and slowly traced Tyler’s entrance with his index finger. 

“Take a breath, Tyler. It’s okay.”

“Bryce… I can see you,” Tyler said, trying to convince himself more than anyone else, trying to focus on the fact that it was Bryce before him and not Monty. “I can see you…”

“You can.” Bryce slid his finger a little bit deeper and said, “you want to see why people like to do this sometimes?”

Tyler nodded, trying to focus, and said, “I don’t really see the appeal so fa…” His voice cut off into a gasp as Bryce crooked his finger and hit… something.

He couldn’t speak, could barely breathe as pleasure shot through him. He quivered. 

“I think you just saw the appeal, now,” Bryce said, with a self-assured smile. “Do you want me to do it again?”

Tyler nodded. 

“Please, Bryce.”

Bryce crooked his finger again, then began to slide in a second finger as Tyler groaned. 

“Bryce,” he mumbled, letting his head lull to the side. He couldn’t say much more than that – the nerve endings were firing to his brain and for the first time he wasn’t fearing the feeling and definitely wasn’t seeing Monty, but he wasn’t seeing Bryce either – he was seeing stars and edges and auras.

Bryce struck it again, like a gong. Tyler was ringing.

He couldn’t stop whispering Bryce’s name, again and again, losing all semblance of trying to look composed – not that he had ever been good at that in the first place.

And then his eyes slipped shut, and he felt everything release – all of it; the tension, the fear, the pain. 

Tyler was cumming, and then, before he knew it, he was sobbing. He curled in on Bryce, clinging to him, his face buried in Bryce’s back. 

He could hear a soft, odd hitching sound, almost like swallowing a cough, and then he realized that Bryce was crying, too.

Tyler leaned up and pressed his lips to Bryce’s. 

He didn’t understand it, any of it. But maybe it didn’t matter.

Because a few minutes later, he fell asleep on Bryce’s shoulder. And in his dreams, Montgomery de la Cruz was nowhere to be found.


End file.
